Friday, 20 January 2012

Assertiveness Resolution Attempt #1

Dear fellow readers, thank you very much if you ever come back to this blog.  I have to admit I have lost interest a little bit.  Not in you, and certainly not in writing, but more specifically I feel like this blog is a reminder of my failure.  When I started doing some research (I know, this seems like haphazard babbling, but I promise it is also, at times, well informed), the main problem with unemployment blogs was they seemed to all abruptly end when the person who was writing found a job.  That will totally be me, I thought to myself.  I will immediately get a job and never write on the internet again because my life will be filled with things like work, and getting ready for work, and travelling to and from work, and talking about work, and going out with my new cool dude work friends.  Alas....  we know how this story ends....  and here I am still  unemployed.  So I will update you in my latest attempt at assertiveness. 

I was at Walmart.  Two days ago I dropped off a prescription for birth control, mistakenly thinking for some reason the pharmacy would fill this prescription and I would be able to prevent myself from having an unwanted and absolutely unaffordable baby.  *side note - I accidentally read a description of labour in a book the other day, well actually only about 3 sentences of 'what to expect' then I threw up in my mouth  and almost lost consciousness and am now uncertain if I even want children, although my inclination has always been to adopt but Husband says no way to that dream.*

Back to my actual story - Walmart did not have my prescription ready.  Seriously.  I dropped it off on Wednesday and it is Friday and they didn't read the number of packages properly.  Then they promised they would fix it, no problem.  Only I would have to wait half an hour.  Even though I had already waited two days!!  I was frustrated, especially because I had just attended a wonderful yoga class and was feeling relaxed and happy in the world, and Walmart succeeded in ruining my happiness.  I started to walk away.  Then I thought to myself, 'be assertive.  Walmart doesn't get to ruin your day.'  So I went back and very politely said, "I would like the prescription back, I am going to go somewhere else."  The pharmacist said, "well you should have said specifically what you wanted, sorry for the confusion, but I am already entering the information in the computer."  "No." I said on my assertive power trip, "I would like it back.  I am going somewhere else."  With many apologies she gave it back, but at this point I didn't need her apologies, I felt like the winner.

By the time I got back to the car I realized I was not the winner because I didn't have any birth control, which was what I had gone out for. 

You know who the real winner was here?  Shoppers Drug Mart.  Because that is where I immediately went afterwards to fill my prescription.

I have no conclusion today.  Was this achieving anything towards my resolution?  Did it really make me a better person?  I can't tell.  I did come up with a new, more concrete resolution.  Take up smoking.  Then next year I can quit it. 

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

How I'm Going to Make 2012 My Very Best Year

My family is sick of hearing about the Mayans and how this might be our very last year to make resolutions.  But I am resolving to continue bothering you all about it for the next year.  Just in case it comes true.  Then my dying words can be, "Told you so."  Which they probably will be regardless of how I go...  but this one seems like an especially big argument to be on the right side of.  I only hope I make it to the very end and don't get taken out early in some sort of flashflood or earthquake or rabid cat attack or whatever is supposed to be coming in these end of days. 

If this picture doesn't scream happliy married and glad to be starting a new year together.....  well I just don't know what does then......

I am also making more practical resolutions, in case this whole thing doesn't pan out and I go on living my mundane life.  I know I told you in my last post I was going to stop prcrastinating, but that was not very serious.  I am not really a big procrastinater, I never miss real things, just put them off until I get inspired to make changes in my life and then I am rather effective and can do ten thousand things in one day.  Then my enthusiasm wanes and I go back to doing nothing more than lying on my couch watching Four Weddings and eating chocolate for breakfast.  Side note - Four Weddings Canada comes out now??  After my wedding?  I would have kicked ass at that show.  My wedding would have definitely won, mostly for the open bar and my beautiful dress.

Maybe what I need is more focus in my life?  I'll put it on the resolution list for 2013 (assuming we make it).

Here it goes for 2012.

1.  Stop apologizing for things I am not sorry for.  I say sorry for everything.  EVERYTHING.  Someone bumps into me.  I apologize.  Someone pushes me purposely, I would say, "I'm so sorry for being in your way."  Someone steals money from me.  My response?  "I'm terribly sorry, but that belongs to me, may I have it back?"  Someone comes into the mall where I work and we don't have something they want in stock.  I apologize.  Did they come looking for me to apologize?  No of course not.  Do I need to be sorry the store I work for doesn't carry what they want?  Do I personally ship the items late?  Do I decide on the stock that is carried?  Or make deliveries?  Do I ruin items leaving them with the choice of one crumpled item or having to find something else?  No, No and NO.  Do I apologize for all of these things that I am not at fault and, also, not sorry for?  Yes.  Every time.  Does it weaken my apology?  Cheapen it?  Make it lose meaning?  Of course it does.  Would I tell every customer I love them?  Would I say I love you to the person who cuts me off in line at the grocery store?  To the driver who almost runs me and my puppy over?  No, never.  Therefore, when I am not sorry, I must stop saying it. 

2.  Be more assertive.  Some people might think I am assertive enough.  Or too assertive.  But I feel like I defer to avoid a fight in situations where I should stand up for myself.  For example, I have an ongoing battle with Sears right now because our hot water heater isn't working properly.  It randomly goes from very very hot to freezing cold with no warning.  My argument is that it isn't safe to be showering and not know when I am going to be blasted with water too hot to stand under.  They said 120 degrees isn't too hot.  I love hot showers, to the point where I come out the colour of a boiled lobster and my body is overheated and I need to drink gallons of water to counteract the dehydration.  120 degrees is too hot for me.  I let them have the weekend off from calling and wasn't going to call yesterday either because they might be busy just coming off their holiday.  Then I had a shower that not only was unpleasant, I could have received 3rd degree burns from it.  So I called.  Their new argument was the heater worked, just not the way I want it to.  Just like Leon's, this is frustrating and stupid and they should be able to fix the problem easily and instead it is turning into a huge issue.  Just like Leon's, I will probably lose, after hours of work on my part and millions of dollars in long distance bills.  I believe I need to be more assertive in this situation and many others.  It starts today (or rather yesterday). 

3.  Stay positive.  You may have noticed at times I can be a little negative.  In most cases my negativity is hilarious.  No seriously.  I love an awful experience because I am willing to laugh at myself about almost anything.  The more mysterious the illness, the more horrifying my drive home, the closer I come to complete and utter failure, the funnier it is.  Once, while waitressing, I walked into a closed glass door with a full tray of drinks.  I was chased by a goose as a child.  My godawful inability to find a job.  The time my dog got scared by a bag of garbage and dragged me so I tripped and ended up stuck in a recycling bin.  These things are hilariously funny.  Very few bad days have no humour.  But, I also find this horrible black hole of nothingness sometimes fills my brain.  When I count how many jobs I've applied to without hearing back.  When I think about the very few interviews I've had, and how they have also amounted to nothing.  When I think about my life goals and dreams and realize none of them involve being unemployed and unsuccessful and closing in on thirty.  These are the days and thoughts I am going to try and banish.  The ones that make me feel depressed, that effect my health, my marriage and most importantly my sense of humour.

That's about all for now.  I never like to come up with a huge list because I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start and it takes me until April to even attempt anything.  But these I can start right now.  This very day.  Watch out world.  No seriously, watch out.  A meteor is probably on it's way right this very second to obliterate the planet.  I'm ready for it 2012.

Regis' resolution?  To look more dapper.  Hence the bowtie.  Thanks Sam!